Straight Talk with Sage | The ‘Everything’ Answer That Made His Girlfriend’s Smile Fade!

Dear Sage,

My girlfriend and I have been dating for six months, and things are going well, but I’m a chronic overthinker. Last night, during a quiet walk, she suddenly asked, ‘What do you love about me?’ I froze. I adore her—how she laughs at my terrible jokes, volunteers at the animal shelter, and remembers my coffee order—but in the moment, I just mumbled something generic like ‘Everything.’ She smiled, but I could tell she wanted more. How do I articulate specific, meaningful reasons without sounding rehearsed or cliché? I don’t want her to think I’m not paying attention to who she truly is.

From Terrible Lover!

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Dear Terrible Lover,

Oh honey, let me stop you right there. You’re not terrible—you’re just human. And like most humans, you’ve fallen into the classic overthinking trap. Trust me, I’ve seen enough deer-in-headlights moments to fill a wildlife documentary.

Reality Check: Your girlfriend didn’t ask that question because she’s testing you. She asked because sometimes we all need to hear why we matter to someone. And that “everything” response? That’s like answering “what’s your favorite food?” with “nutrients.” Come on, we can do better.

Here’s your game plan:

1. Drop the Performance Anxiety Stop treating this like it’s your final exam in Love 101. The most authentic answers often come from everyday moments. You already listed some golden nuggets in your letter—her laugh at your terrible jokes (which shows she gets your humor), her volunteer work (shows her heart), and remembering your coffee order (shows she pays attention to details about you).
2. The Three-Layer Method

• Surface Layer: What you see (her smile, the way she moves)
• Action Layer: What she does (volunteering, remembering details)
• Impact Layer: How it affects you (makes you feel seen, inspires you to be better)

Pick one from each layer and boom—you’ve got yourself a genuine answer that’ll make her heart melt.

Here’s the thing that’ll make you laugh: You actually know exactly what you love about her. Your letter proved it. You just need to stop treating your feelings like they’re a PowerPoint presentation that needs perfect formatting.

Next time (because trust me, there will be a next time), just speak from that same place that made you write this letter. “I love how you laugh at my terrible jokes because it makes me feel accepted for exactly who I am. I love watching you with the shelter animals because it shows me your gentle heart. And yeah, I even love that you know my coffee order because it reminds me that you pay attention to the little things about me.”

Final Truth Bomb: The best expressions of love aren’t rehearsed—they’re remembered. You’re already noticing all the right things. Now just let yourself say them out loud, even if your voice shakes a little.

Now go forth and speak your truth, overthinking warrior. Your girlfriend isn’t looking for Shakespeare—she’s looking for you.

P.S. And for the love of all things holy, write some of these things down in your phone. Future you will thank me when she springs this question again at your cousin’s wedding.

Sage