“New rule: If you ghost someone, you owe them a formal PowerPoint explaining why.”
(Because closure is a human right, and we deserve at least 3 slides on “It’s not you, it’s me.”)
“Law #342: If you send ‘k’ instead of ‘okay,’ you must provide a 500-word essay on why you’re mad.”
(Passive-aggressiveness should come with consequences.)
“Effective immediately: Anyone giving unsolicited life advice must provide a resume of their own success first.”
(If you’ve never done it, don’t preach it.)
“Mandatory: If your excuse is ‘I didn’t have time,’ you must submit your screen time report for review.”
(Let’s see how much ‘no time’ you had while scrolling for hours.)
“Official decree: If you make a group chat, you are legally responsible for keeping it alive.”
(Don’t create chaos and then disappear like a sitcom dad.)
New Rule: If your “life advice” starts with “Just be yourself”, you must legally provide a backup plan in case “yourself” is the problem.
New Rule: Anyone who says “It is what it is” in a crisis must pay a fine that funds better advice.
💥 Which one hits home the hardest? Or do we need to pass more laws? 😏🔥
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